Candy Diaries: The Dating Plight of the Single Black Woman
News Flash: There alot of good brothas out there. There are actually some men out there with no drama, good dick and ready for the right woman to walk into their lives. The Problem: There’s a tough elimination process. Just like women, men meet the undesirables, the crazy and plain ol’ bitches. Yes, women who act like their shit don’t stink, and every man owes them something for what another dude did to them. I wanted to find out what goes through a brothas mind when it comes to relationships and the opposite sex. I asked a few question to a single friend of mine named Manny, and he gave some great insight of what men are actually thinking.
1. Why are you a single man in Atlanta? Well one factor is there are plenty of women in Atlanta to choose from. Its like getting a gum ball out of the machine; you’re just waiting to see what flavor you get this time, you chew it for a while and throw it out. A lot of women also have too many issues, so why stress when you can have no attachments and drama and keep it moving? There are a lot of good women out here, but its hard to weed through the bullshit.
2. When you meet a woman, what attracts you to her? Personality, sense of humor, sex appeal and a great smile does it for me. Ladies, you can be sexy without showing all your goods. I find it more attractive when you can just wonder how the curves and shape of a sexy woman flow when she doesnt have her breast and ass hanging out.
3. What kinds of women turn you off? Bad attitude, a gold digger, bad breath, bad kisser, no type of sense of humor, ugly hands and weave!!!! Can women please not wear it so damn much?
4. Do you think women are confused about what they want? I think some women are confused, because they think sex solves things and will make a man want them more, incorrect! I love a woman that will borderline flirt and tempt me but not go there so early. I’m not saying having sex on the first night is bad, but if its a woman that does it often then she is confused but woman have needs just like guys. Women dont understand that you cant rush a man into a relationship, just go with the flow and take baby steps!
5. What do you have to offer in a relationship? I think a relationship is 50/50 so it should be a equal offering or if money is a issue sometimes then just put forth the effort to do something little and special. Speaking about myself, I have a lot of time and attention to give, being single, no kids and own crib I can do what I pretty much want and no baggage and stress.
6. Do you think youre or have ever been afraid of commitment? I have been afraid because I thought I would be missing something in the streets and when you are younger, your eyes are wide open to the lights, women and fast life. I think a guy really isnt ready to commit until after 27 or 28. I will be 30 this year and I am just getting to the point where I can control my urges and eyes.
7. Which is more important to you; being sexually or physically compatible? I think both are needed, no one will stay with someone whos sex sucks and you have to have some type of sex appeal and physical attraction about yourself or the other person will always be looking elsewhere if you arent that looker to them.
8. Do have any requirements when it comes to sex? Just be open minded and willing to try new things, new places, the same old bed sex and positions get old.
9. Do you think women try to trap men with sex? I think some women do, but most men that been around dont fall for it. If a woman is just starting to date a guy or talk to him, please believe 8 out of 10 guys have a side chick for sex just in case you dont work out.
10. If you could do one thing in your relationship past to change it, would you? If yes, what would it be? If no, why not? I would change the way I listened back in the day. Some women have told me indirectly about the things I do wrong, but I am hard headed and dont realize it until the relationship is over and I could have saved it if I just watch and listen better.
It’s hard to find quality people to date. You just never know what or who you’re gonna bump into. You just have to try and try until you get it right I guess. Why is so hard to please each other? We essentially want the same things, but we can’t find it in each other. Maybe one day the majority of us single folks will get it right.
I want to thank Manny for allowing me to get inside his head.
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